This year’s International Day against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia (IDAHOT) focuses on the family, including the role of families in the well-being of their lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex (LGBTI) members and respect of the rights of LGBTI families.

UNAIDS has been a strong supporter of LBGTI equality and has been a champion of the cause within the United Nations system. To celebrate the diversity of families at UNAIDS, we have talked to LGBTI staff about what family means to them.

Shane Hebel

When I think of family I think of my chosen family, friends who became loved ones through our shared experiences, joys and trials. We support each other, we push each other to be our best selves, we help each other move. These people have taught me that families come in all forms and that love can exist boundlessly among those you choose to surround yourself with, even if they aren’t tied to you by blood. 

Chris Mallouris

Family for me means safety, unconditional love and acceptance for who I am, acceptance when I succeed and acceptance when I fail. As we grow older, our family expands from those with whom we are linked genetically to those who come to our lives by mutual choice. In the last few years, it has been heart-warming to see LGBTI people in some regions of the world celebrate publicly their definition of family. But it has also been heart-breaking to see LGBTI people in other regions losing their families, being persecuted and having their lives threatened by those who should be there to protect them and love them unconditionally. Families protect each other, they don’t turn against one another for being born LGBTI.

Carlos Passarelli

When I met Marc, almost three years ago, I always acted as if his kids, his grandchildren, and his stepsons were his family, not mine. One day, Manon, his daughter, introduced me to a colleague of hers, presenting me as her “stepfather”. I must admit that I was touched by her spontaneity. Her three daughters, Marc’s grandchildren, also treat me as the partner of their grandfather, and it is very natural to them. And then I realized that Marc and I were more than a couple: we were part of the same family, including my own family in Brazil. And I felt good about that.

Alberto Stella

The family is the primary social context for growth development of the person in its wonderful diversity. My family has been growing along my journey: I found my son in Africa and my partner in central America and we got married in Argentina. Today, we are a family, a refuge that provides security, love and a real possibility of fully exercising human rights. No matter how the family is composed, what makes family functional is the strength of ties.

UNAIDS’ policy

Starting in 2009, UNAIDS actively promoted the equal recognition of marriages and unions at the United Nations system level. UNAIDS was one of the pioneers in extending benefits to staff members who entered a civil union or marriage recognized by a competent legislative authority, irrespective of the staff member’s nationality. The United Nations Secretariat and other entities later adopted a similar policy in 2014. UNAIDS was also one of the first United Nations organizations to establish a diversity policy. UNAIDS’ Policy on Diversity and Inclusion makes specific reference to same-sex partnerships and UNAIDS’ policy of zero tolerance for discrimination.

UNAIDS staff member

Family to me is my immediate family, but it’s also the many gay and lesbian friends I have made over the years. The two are essential to my life. I have the unconditional love of my parents, who accept me for who I am, a lesbian, but they stay silent about my life and lifestyle. That is why I feel a reassuring sense of community with my gay friends. At UNAIDS, the sense of acceptance has been overwhelmingly positive and I wish everyone could work in such an environment. No labels, no stigma.

UNAIDS staff member

A few months ago, I delivered training on sexual orientation and gender identity in western Africa. I shared with the participants my experience of coming out to my family in my twenties and then pursuing a life and a career. One of the participants asked me if there had been a nongovernmental organization that had helped me when I came out. The question caught me off guard. I realized that it presupposed that I had been rejected by my family and that I must have needed external help to survive. I replied that I did not need any help because as soon as I came out I was embraced, reassured and supported by my family at all times. This made me reflect on how fortunate I am to have my parents and siblings, to have been born in a time and in a place where that family was possible, and to have been resilient enough to come out to my family and to society without much fear. I know these factors are not a reality for all LGBTI youth worldwide, and for that we need to continue advocating for universal human rights, education, services and justice.

To celebrate IDAHOT 2017, UNAIDS has released a video message (https://youtu.be/DGbO0qt7EQo) by Michel Sidibé, UNAIDS Executive Director, on the diversity and importance of all families.  

Mr Sidibé in the video statement said, “Families come in all shapes and sizes … we all have a responsibility to respect and protect one another.” He added, “Ending AIDS means we need to end the stigma and discrimination of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people.”